


The Colour of Insanity

by QuitePossiblyInsane



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Depression, Depressive themes, F/M, Freeform, I'm literally making it up as I go along, M/C is not Frisk, Might bring in some AUs, Original Character(s), Other, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route, maybe eventual smut, probably some fluff, sort of self insert, third person, this is probably really bad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-04
Updated: 2016-09-24
Packaged: 2018-08-13 01:17:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7956460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuitePossiblyInsane/pseuds/QuitePossiblyInsane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What was real?<br/>Who was real?<br/>Could she trust her own feelings, or would she be lost in darkness again?<br/>Just as her thoughts began to drag her down again, a skeletal hand came out of the shadows.<br/>When she took it, everything changed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introduction and Setup

**Author's Note:**

> First and foremost, this is sort of self-therapy. While some representations of my character may be a little out there, they are still an avatar for myself. If you can connect to her, all the better. Some of her problems will be an exaggeration of my own very real ones. Others will be all her own, for plot reasons. Others will be outright representations of my day to day life.  
> If this is something you could be interested in, then take my hand. Get lost in the dark with me.

_Why was it so_ **dark?**

She tried desperately to remember something. Anything.

How long had she been here? Minutes? Years?

_Where was here?_

She took a deep breath. She could do this.  **She could do this.**

The shadows rippled around her as she looked up, brushing her hair out of her eyes.

Dark. **Dark. DARK...** _w_ _ait._

What was that?

 

A pale blue light lit the distance, yellow flickers making the shadows dance. They caught her attention, and she found herself unable to look away. It was...entrancing. 

She stood, if the motion could be called that in this place--nothing was definite, here. She had to catch that light.

Everything was a blur, as she rushed forward, the flickering of the light increasing as she moved closer. A shape appeared, surrounded by the magic light. She reached out, trying to slow down, but her desperate momentum carried her forward. She lost her breath as she hit the figure, toppling head over heels into the shadows beyond. The figure fell back with a muffled exclamation, the magic glow flashing brightly for a moment, before fading.

"No!" The word left her lips before she knew she was speaking. Her voice cracked with disuse. She had been alone in the dark for so long.

* * *

 

When he took his shortcuts, it was usually just...dark. Only for a few seconds, as the universe folded itself in half, allowing him to step from one place to the next. He never saw anything of note--it was between everything, after all. A place where existence was irrelevant. 

But this time, he had literally been thrown out of his shortcut early.

He suppressed a growl of pain, as he skidded across the ground, his bones making a sickening scraping sound on the asphalt of the superstore parking lot he suddenly found himself in. It was late, the moon high in the sky, casting a white glow on his skull as it peaked through threatening-looking clouds. The lot was nearly deserted, especially this far from the store.

He sighed heavily, staying where he was on the ground for a moment as he tried to get his thoughts together. What the hell had just happened? He'd seen...something. It had been going too fast, even for him to see, but time was a little distorted there anyway, and perceptions of it, more so. He closed his eye-sockets, leaning his head back as he tried to call up the blurred shadow who had collided with him. 

The skeleton shook his head lightly, standing and brushing himself off. Whatever it was, it didn't belong there. And since no one else could do anything about it...heh. No one needed to know he was taking the initiative.

He stepped into the shadow again, this time with no destination in mind.

 


	2. Insansity

She lay flat, staring with wide eyes into the endless dark. The **silence** was alive. It breathed around her, reminding her that nothing was real. Not even her.

She laughed, the sound harsh in the **silence**. It recoiled in disgust, leaving an unpleasant electric buzz in her head.

_Sorry. Just...thinking._

The  **silence** huddled close again, enveloping her. It could forgive, if she could acknowledge her mistake.

Nothing was real.  _Especially_ not her.

No. That wasn't quite right, either.

She was nothing.

**Better.**

She glowed with the praise.

* * *

 

A beacon. They were a damn beacon in this dark place. He had never spent any significant amount of time here, using it only for his shortcuts, and paying it little mind. He could already feel the strain of staying here for the last few minutes. But the shadows seemed to recede from the figure in the distance.

He took a few steps forward, frowning when he didn't seem to come any closer. He tried again, before his own laziness got the better of him, and he reached out with his magic, feeling for the figure's soul.

He nearly dropped to his knees as he felt a sudden barrage of all-too-familiar emptiness. It took actual effort to keep from collapsing under the weight being carried by the soul he had only briefly brushed with his magic. How the hell had this broken...human? Shade? Not a monster, but damn if he could tell _what_ they were. It didn't really matter. He just wanted to know how they had ended up in this...nowhere.

The skeleton shook off the feeling, at least for a moment, turning their soul blue with his magic, and pulling them toward him. They weren't moving on their own. He assumed they were unconscious.

* * *

 

She wasn't aware of moving until she turned her head toward the figure. The glowing figure, in blue and yellow. She smiled.

_They're real._

The  **silence** bristled.

She tried to sit up, but the gentle blue glow that had begun to fuzz around her held her firm.

So she waited. Her pulse was racing, audible, even through the electric static that buzzed in her head. The shadows receded slightly, as she was pulled into view, finally seeing past their magic.

She stared in wonder, and was hardly aware of being set upright. She hadn't seen anything in so long...she wanted to reach out to touch them... _him..._ but fear that he would disappear like before paralysed her.

_Huh. Fear? That was new._

A brief expression of confusion passed over his skeletal features, and she suppressed a nervous giggle at the oddity of readable expression on bones. Then again, everything was rather odd now. She was certain she had existed at one point, but it had been so long since she had seen anything or anyone, for all she knew, this was normal.

He frowned at her silent laugh, pausing a moment before reaching out a hand to her.

She stared at his hand, the laughter fading. What was he doing? D-did he really want her to...what did he want her to do?

He paused again, before moving his hands strangely, pointing at her, then his skull, before moving his index fingers around one another and pulling his hands apart in an L shape, the glowing irises in his eye-sockets searching for signs of recognition.

She shook her head slowly, not understanding.

He gave a sigh, the sound lost to the  **silence**. He pointed at her hand, before extending his own again.

She hesitated, slowly reaching out, her hand trembling noticeably.

He grinned, taking her hand in his. The darkness twisted around them, seeming to turn in on itself as she found herself pulled against the skeleton in a sudden embrace, dizziness tearing through her head.

The  **silence** receded. A million pinpricks of light assaulted her senses as the  **dark** faded away. An overwhelming scent filled her lungs. A crisp Autumn breeze tickled across her skin.

Pain cracked through her head in a flash of white, and she went limp in the skeleton's arms, still conscious, but overwhelmed by the feeling of suddenly... _existing._

His eye sockets widened, and he braced himself as she collapsed, scooping her up carefully, "heh. fallin' for me already?"

The girl--well, more of a woman, really--frowned lightly, staring up at him, as if she were having trouble focusing. After a few seconds, his pun seemed to click, the confusion fading a little from her expression, "Um...I...I'm sorry?" Her voice was quiet, but the soft sound even made her flinch, as she seemed to expect some sort of retaliation.

He rose a brow bone, "aw, come on. you can't say that wasn't humerus?"

She blinked slowly. Was that...a joke? What was she supposed to do when someone told a joke? Shit.

**You laugh, dumbass.**

She flinched, before realising he probably saw that, "Um...s-sorry," she rasped, half forcing a small laugh, which evolved into an irritated coughing fit. She curled up in his arms, waiting for it to pass, "Y-you can...put me down, I think..." She practically whispered the words, " I um...I must weigh a...a skele-ton." She opened her eyes, surprised at the sincere grin from...her rescuer?

"nah. you could go to a paint store, and you still wouldn't be able to get any thinner." His irises seemed to sparkle slightly.

Paint...thinner? She smiled, laughing and burying her face against his sternum. She wasn't sure how she understood the joke.

He held onto her for a moment, smiling lightly, "alright, now let's get serious for a sec," he said when she had calmed again, "you got a name?"

She blinked slowly, frowning, still hiding her face, "I...um...a name?" She bit her lip.

He watched her for a moment, "yeah. name, designation, title?"

She thought about it, "My name...is Andra?"

He chuckled, "you don't sound too sure about that."

She frowned at him, "What about you?"

He smirked, "i guess i can give you a name, if you want, babe, but i'm not sure if you'll--"

"No, what's  _your_ name?"

He blinked, "sans. sans the skeleton," he replied.

She thought about his name quietly. Sans. _Without_. She felt a mild stinging in her heart, but she suppressed her reaction to it. A mild shiver went toward her as another cold breeze played across her skin.

"i didn't mean to rattle your bones," he said after a moment, "why don't i get you someplace warm?"

"P-please," she stammered, nuzzling closer to him.

He wrapped his arms around her a little tighter, carrying her into the apartment building. The apartments were magic proofed, otherwise he would've taken them directly there. He could take his shortcuts within the building, but the walls messed up his sense of direction, and he was already pretty drained after being knocked forcibly back to reality. Luckily, the late hour had the place mostly deserted, and no one bothered him on his way up to the third floor.

The apartment wasn't much, but a few years after they had come to the surface, Paps had moved out on his own, and...well, he didn't need much, anymore. He used his magic to shut the door behind them when they arrived, moving into the living room and setting her on the somewhat ratty couch. He needed to think about getting a new one...it was becoming all too obvious that he never had guests.

Andra breathed a sigh of relief. Compared to outside, the apartment was blessedly quiet, and much darker. She opened her eyes when Sans set her down. They seemed to absorb the light that hit them, and she managed to sit up, leaning on one hand, "How did you find me?"

He shrugged, "tibia honest, i wasn't really looking until you ran into me. if you wanna feel the burn, you should really think about running in the sunlight instead."

She blinked slowly, her smile coming slowly, "I don't know how long its been since I've seen the sun," she admitted.

He rose a brow-bone, "how long were you in there?"

She thought about it for a moment, "I'm...not sure. After a while, the days started to blend together...and I..." She smiled sheepishly, "I guess you could say I was...sort of suffering from in **sans** ity."

He chuckled, "girl after my bone heart."

She shook her head, her cheeks hurting from smiling. Her head hurt from the movement, and she gave a low groan.

He watched her. She was obviously out of it, despite her apparently intact sense of humour, "you feel like eggs?" He asked suddenly.

She frowned lightly, "Hm? Um...I-I don't know if I could really eat anything. I don't feel very well...."

He grinned, "you sure? you look beat, to me."

She blinked a few times, before laughing a little harshly, going into another coughing fit, holding up a hand to keep him from coming over to help her. When her breathing had evened out, she had collapsed back onto the couch. Her pale skin was flushed red, and her eyes were somehow darker than before.

"can you walk?" He asked after a moment.

She panted slightly, nodding, and slowly getting up.

"come on, let's get you to bed."

"Y-you're...letting me stay here?"

He shrugged noncommittally, "you want me to send you back?"

Her eyes widened, and she quickly shook her head, almost immediately regretting it. The motion set her head spinning, and she stumbled slightly, her vision going white for a moment. She felt a firm grip on her arm, keeping her from falling, and she wondered for a moment who this strange skeleton really was. How could he step in and out of that reality so effortlessly?

Just as effortlessly, he led her to the small bedroom, using his magic to flatten out the sheets, before lying her down.

She was asleep before she hit the pillow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for taking a walk into the dark with me.  
> I know I'm awful. >


	3. Metro

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> W-wait. People are actually reading my garbage? o////o
> 
>  
> 
> _What?_
> 
>  
> 
> *the author is very nervous now* U-um...well, this is awkward.
> 
> Anyway, the title of the chapter is after Metro by The Vincent Black Shadow. Song fits my mood today, but I can't guarantee it has anything to do with what I'm about to write.  
> Once more, into the dark...

_"I...I'm sorry...but I have to leave. I can't stay here anymore. I feel...trapped. Please understand. Please don't freak out...." Her nerves had her hands trembling, and she toyed with the long braid pulled over her shoulder nervously._

_The betrayal in the older woman's eyes was clear. Her normally gentle features twisted into a mask of rage, "You're leaving me?" She snapped.  
_

_Andra flinched, "M-mom, I..."_

_"After I provided everything for you? I gave you life, I gave you shelter! I quit doing drugs to get you back when they tried to take you away from me! And now you're_ leaving _me?"_

_"Please, mom, I'm an adult. I...I need to figure out who I am. I can't do that here...."_

_Her mother got a wild look in her eyes, "Don't call me that. I don't have a daughter," she growled the words between clenched teeth, "Get your shit, and get out of my house."_

_She watched the woman storm from the room, and tears spilled down her cheeks. This wasn't how it was supposed to have gone. She grabbed the satchel she had brought to pack her things, slowly folding her items into the bag._

_She didn't see the older woman return with a knife, until she'd been grabbed by her hair, pulled back harshly, throwing her to the floor, "Get out of my house," she growled._

_Andra's eyes widened, and she scrambled back against the wall._

_"Get out! Out! Out!" Her mother held the knife threateningly, "You betrayed me. I never want to see you again!"_

_She shakily got up, backing away rapidly, unwilling to turn her back on the woman who had given her life until she was a safe distance away. When she had reached the living room, she turned and ran, tearing out the door into the heat of the desert beyond._

_She ran. And ran...and ran. The sun burned her pale skin, blistering it as she collapsed on the scorching sand. She didn't know where she was anymore. She didn't know anything. She just wanted to hide from everything._

* * *

 

It took a few minutes to realise when she was awake. The pillow was wet with tears, and her eyes felt swollen. Ugh. She hated crying. Her eyes would be red for hours.

She briefly wondered where she was, before the previous night's events replayed in her mind. Oh.

She sat up. Had she taken his bed? What was his name again?

_Without_.

Oh, right. Sans. It probably wasn't intended that way, but at least it made it easy to remember. Unlike...wherever she'd been before he'd found her.

Seriously, how had she even gotten here? She remembered...running into him...but she couldn't dredge up any details about the place...just that...she wasn't supposed to have been there. She'd been alone for a really long time. Ugh. Her head hurt just thinking about this.

She rolled out of bed, walking over to the door and stretching lightly. She was more steady than she had been the night before, though she couldn't think what had been wrong with her.

Andra stepped into the hall, padding down the hall and into the living room, " S-Sans?" She yawned, wiping her eyes on her arm.

The skeleton was sleeping on the couch, one arm draped over his eyesockets. He was snoring quietly, though she wasn't sure how that was possible, when he didn't have the fleshy bits to make that a problem. Then again...he was a  _skeleton_. How was his existence even possible? If she was going to accept magic so readily on one level, who was she to be so skeptical on another.

She cleared her throat, "Sans," she repeated.

He rolled away from her, toward the back of the couch, "coffee," he mumbled.

She stared at him, wondering if he was even awake. Probably not, but coffee seemed like a good cure for that. She couldn't help a small smile as she went into the kitchen, looking around before finding a well-used coffee-maker.

She cleaned it out, wrinkling her nose at the lack of care. It looked like he literally hadn't touched it in months, even though the coffee grounds were clearly only a day or so old. She mentally shrugged, scrubbing the filter and carafe clean, before setting about making a fresh pot.

A few minutes after it had started brewing, she heard a gentle clacking of bone against linoleum, glancing over her shoulder and immediately turning around so Sans wasn't behind her, "Oh, hi. Good morning! I um...hope you don't mind I--"

"are you apologising for making me coffee?" He arched a brow bone.

She blushed immediately, looking down, "Sorry. Um...h-habit."

Sans watched her carefully, fighting back his own pale blue blush, resisting the urge to move closer and make her look at him. Honestly, that would be stepping over the line for someone he had just met, even if he had let her sleep in his bed last night, "don't worry about it, andra."

She glanced up, managing a small smile, "I'm trying really hard not to apologise again."

He chuckled. That was adorable. Um...not that he was going to say that out loud, "how about we have some coffee, now? i have a latte on my mind," he asked, moving past her to grab a couple of mismatched mugs from the cupboard.

She snorted, leaning against the counter next to him, "Yeah, I get despresso without coffee, too."

He gave a low laugh, "what's sumatra with you kid? you think you can out-pun me?"

She giggled, "Something tells me this'll turn into a strong, heated debate." She grabbed a coffee mug from him, pausing as her fingertips brushed his phalanges, a light blush dusting her cheeks.

He grinned. Or was that a smirk? "i'm going to win. by any beans necessary."

She realised that she still hadn't taken the coffee mug. She moved to pull it away from him, but he kept a hold of it, his smirk widening.

"Let go of the cup Sans. I'm mugging you." She said after a moment, grinning.

His eyelights danced a moment, "where have you bean all my life, brewtiful?"

She blushed again, and this time he clearly noticed, as they both quickly let go of the mug, the cup dropping to the floor and shattering between them, "Shit! Sorry!" Andra apologised quickly, jumping back, flush against the counter. She flinched as a few bits of ceramic cut across her feet.

He gave her an almost annoyed look, even as a bluish tinge spread across his cheekbones, "what'd i say about apologising?" He replied, using his magic to gather up the broken bits of coffee mug without even leaning down, "don't worry about it." He emptied the broken pieces into a paper bag, then into the garbage, before glancing toward her again, "you alright?"

"I'm fine," she said quickly, "I think it just barely scraped past my feet. But uh...I think you won. I'll take whatever pun-ishment you deem necessary." 

He rose a brow bone, "i think that's punneccesary." He chuckled, grabbing another mug and moving to make them both a cup of coffee.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah...so...this took a few days to write. I couldn't find a good place to stop, so I hope this was alright. Pun-offs are hopefully not going to be a regular thing between them when things get...closer. >///


	4. An author's note

This story is going to be going on a temporary hiatus. I've recently started work on another under my other Psued, Andra Nycly, under the title Falling For a Deal. It is worth checking out, co-created with the always fabulous Bunny-King! Also, I'll be heading back to work soon, so two projects is a little too much for me right now. But I promise, once my schedule settles out, you'll get what you came here for.  
For now, taking a break from the shadows. ~<3


End file.
